In Hell Not All Torture Brings The Heat

Some abuses come in the form of a support ticket

Let's jump into the way back machine. I will set the Flux Capacitor to circa 2005. That is when I worked for a Restaurant POS dealer, selling automation solutions to restaurants. In the early 2000s, national brand POS solutions were internal network/server-based systems that were sold and maintained by thousands of local dealers. Installations were done live and on-site. Support calls were taken by real human beings, (well, as human as one could expect for IT support staff) during normal business hours and by live 24-hour after-hour designated support professionals. After-hours calls were triaged into three categories:

1. If the problem affected customer service or funds collection - solve immediately.

2. If the problem did not pose an immediate operational challenge, like how to enter a new menu item - resolve during normal business hours.

3. If the caller simply had an ID10T problem - sternly inform them that their mommy and therapist severely let them down by releasing them upon the world without a clue! (I wish! They were informed their issue would be resolved during normal business hours.)

That was how most restaurant POS support issues were handled back in the troglodyte era of live restaurant POS support maintenance. Generally, entire exchanges between restaurant managers and POS technicians lasted less than 15 minutes.  Of course there were greater challenges in the old, internal server/network-based system days. Network and hardware failure caused catastrophic interruptions to the flow of business and sometimes the issue required on-site resolution. When that happened, the disruption was painful and the cost of time and materials for on-site repairs would make an attorney blush.

Now, set the dial on the DeLorean back to 2024. Gone are the days when restaurant operators could pick up the phone and call their POS dealer for support. Through the modern marvel of SAAS (Software As A Service) external internet-based POS systems, that relic of an actual live support call center has disappeared. Sophisticated SAAS products now require sophisticated IT support solutions. The modern SAAS technology support solution is a support ticket system.

For those unfamiliar with a "support ticket” system, I will explain how it works.

Step One - log on to your POS account and navigate to the "support" tab

Step Two - type, to the best of your knowledge, the situation you are struggling with and include attachments or screenshots of the issue

Step Three - submit support ticket

Step Four - resume normal restaurant operation duties as you will have no clue when the support ticket will be answered

Step Five - returned to your email inbox from time to time to see if support ticket was answered

Step Six - once support ticket has received a response, reread entire support ticket request since it has been so long since you created it that you forgot the specific issue you were addressing

Step Seven - respond to the support ticket with an updated status of either that the issue has been resolved or still open

Step Eight - relive steps four and five until support ticket is answered once again

Step Nine – upon receiving support ticket response, reread the entire support ticket chain and test whether or not issue has been resolved

Step Ten - if issue resolved, request the support ticket be closed. If issue not resolved, update support ticket and return to step four

Step Eleven - since it has been so long since the IT issue began, you have long figured out a manual workaround the problem and have all but abandoned the original support ticket

Step Twelve - usually many days later, the original support ticket is updated with a new list of questions regarding the original problem that you've forgotten about because you manually figured out a workaround that now requires you to reread the entire support ticket string to figure out what the hell they're asking. This step usually requires a repeat of step two

Step Thirteen - resolve in your own mind that this problem will never be fixed and move on because life is short, and you have work to do

Step Fourteen - many days or perhaps weeks later a support ticket response shows up in your email box stating that since communication stalled this support ticket will be closed

Think I'm exaggerating? I currently have a support ticket out on a POS issue that simply is trying to resolve the time my daily data uploads to an FTP site. A system of dropping the data at 6 AM that worked for the last two years suddenly stopped which is now hanging all my daily data analytics for that location. That support ticket was opened on May 1. As of this writing, 12 days later, there have been no less than 24 support ticket exchanges regarding this issue. Repeated requests to talk to a human being regarding the simple function of determining when I can expect my daily data from yesterday to be loaded up to my FTP site are rejected. I am in the circular hell of support ticket maintenance. God forbid, I have multiple support tickets going on with multiple SAAS vendors.

In the old days, this problem would've been resolved with a simple phone call and 15 minutes of time from both mine and the IT support technician. Now between both of our companies, we have hours into this support ticket. As I wander the aisles of "Tech Alley" at the National Restaurant Association show in Chicago next weekend my number one question to all these SAAS companies will be, ‘how can the support ticket system be more cost efficient than simply having a technician pick up the phone and resolve the problem in real time?”

I guess I should be happy that my support dollars went into product development for better Kevlar sails and hydrofoil technology for yacht racing over the last fifteen years. As a sailor and a patriot, I do take some pride in competing for the America’s Cup. However, I would prefer my SAAS vender preserve a portion of those support dollars to improve their customer support system.

Hell is for cheats, scoundrels and soulless individuals who waste other people’s time. In hell the "brilliant" creators of the support ticket system will be in good company. At least that is the cheerful thought that warms my heart as I wait patiently for support ticket exchange number 25.