Trading Places

AI and the death of honor

I just ordered my third set of underwater sonic earphones in as many years. I am a swimmer and I discovered that I could listen to music and podcasts while performing my morning exercising routine with earphones that send musical vibrations via bone conduction instead of the usual in-ear method. Swimming is a lonely sport and I greatly appreciate that technology has solved the "dead air," once unavoidable, while ears were immersed in water. I did not order my third pair because they, like my swim trunks, eventually succumb to the ware and tare of chlorine, I ordered my third pair of earphones because the last two sets were lifted by someone at my health club. Character, it appears, is what happens only when someone is looking.

I belong to a health club because building and maintaining a lap pool in my back yard is prohibitive. I also enjoy the vast amenities and the energy of other people gathered around the goal of achieving and maintaining good health. In this environment, working out is contagious. But like all modern institutions, my club has gone wobbly kneed on insisting that members act with honor and dignity towards one another. Quantity of members, it seems, is more important than quality.

Like most other institutions, my health club is simply afraid. It is afraid that if it does not tolerate foul language and petty theft, it will lose members. It is afraid that if it doesn't bend the knee to the rainbow jihad, relentless negative press will further erode membership numbers. As a result, my club simply posts signs that warn members to protect themselves by securing their valuables while at the same time absolving themselves from any liability for losses. My club, like governments around the world that mandated untested vaccines, admits that for the good of the institution a certain percent of loss must be tolerated. From the health club’s perspective, the whole is greater than the sum of its members.

My club's theft toleration phenomenon is merely the result of progressive policies. Policies that lean into making sure that no one is offended, most especially the thief. This type of policy toleration goes on in our churches as well where the feelings of apostates are coddled and the biblically faithful are forsaken. The same goes for our work environments. We bend over backwards to accommodate the "Wallys" who occupy space, both physically in the office and mentally in the heads of co-workers and vilify the "Dilberts" that show up to work, day in and day out. Here are a couple of classic Wally exchanges:

• Dilbert: "You would have made a great evil mastermind."
  Wally: "Eh, the hours are too long."

• Asok: "Can you teach me to be apathetic like you?"
  Wally: "Only if you have a strong desire not to learn."

The productive, after all, makes the idle feel inadequate and that kind of "privilege" simply cannot be tolerated in modern DEI led institutions.

If my club was bold and truly wished to secure a more trusting membership, they could simply post this sign.

The fear of banishment is a long tried and true deterrent for bad behavior, and it works on all but those who simply have larceny in their blood. There was a time when such a sign would not been needed. Private clubs had "unwritten" rules of etiquette and decorum. Break the rules and lose your membership. I have read that that notion still exists at Augusta National. A member finds out that they violated one of those "unwritten" rules and that their membership has been revoked only when the invoice for their annual dues does not arrive in the mail.

So strong once was the stigma of banishment that the writers of the movie, Trading Places (1983,) placed it prominently into the plot. As you witness in this clip from the movie Trading Places, all that was required to sully the character of Winthrop was the accusation of petty theft of $150. Duke and Duke did not need to concoct some elaborate Bernie Madoff-type pyramid scheme that swindled club members to facilitate their social experiment scheme on poor Winthrop. A mere $150 theft was enough to create social ostracization to facilitate their whimsical “nurture vs. nature” experiment.

Academic theft used to carry the same negative stigma as well. When I attended university, way back in the troglodyte pre-internet age of the '80's, we signed honor statements regarding academic integrity. Cheating and plagiarism were grounds for expulsion. Based on recent events at Ivy League institutions, cheating and plagiarism now appear to reward their leaders as if a peak is superior to a finesse in the game of Bridge. Would Gen Z even recognize the moral dilemma this scene offers in the movie, Good Will Hunting? In it an obviously bored Will Hunting wants to play, but his girl, Skylar, needs to study organic chemistry. (watch movie clip here)

With Chat GPT, everyone is now walking around with Will Hunting in their pocket. It can spout knowledge without context. Write original term papers without connection to one’s mind and design love sonnets for one's lover without heart. But with this “Will Hunting” rattling about our pocket devise there is no Dr. Sean Maguire to help derive meaning out of life. Chat GPT can write a movie script but will never be able emulate the gifts God endues within us to think, create and be alive. This is a short take and one not scripted even by human writers; it is a line ad-libbed by Robin Williams at the conclusion of the movie. It is powerful, and AI will never achieve it because being genuine is a purely human endeavor. AI will never match the beauty of life because life is a gift, not a silicon chip. There is honor in being genuine.

There is also honor in golf. That is why I respect the 18-hole game. I will let the innocent voice of a child explain the beauty of the game from the movie, The Legend of Bagger Vance.

I will never break par, but once or twice a round, I hit a pro-like shot. There is no substitution for that feeling of accomplishment. I love the game of golf and a great day for me is carding an honest 90, three strokes below my handicap. Because, it is up to me to add up and report my strokes on each hole. Nothing brings one closer to God than the game of Golf. For only you and God know if the score presented is the truth. Also, no Divine Entity is ignored more when the game is favorable and cursed more when the round is miserable, than God. Golf is like life and all lessons learned on the course are life’s lessons. Give me anyone for five hours on a golf course and I will tell you everything about them. I will know their strengths and weaknesses; I will know their loves and hates. And I will know if they are honest or cheats.

Among golfing foursomes, this is an old joke: 

A lifelong golfer finally gets a chance to play the old course at St. Andrew's and is paired with a gruff Scottish caddy. After hacking his way about the first few holes, he turns to his caddy and asks, "what am I doing wrong?" The caddy responds, "eye, dhere's a piece of shite at t’end of yur club." The golfer turns his club head over and looks. "naw,” says the caddy, “t'other end."

Coddling poor play has gone on way too long. We need our institutions, our churches, our schools, our workplaces and our health clubs, to play the role of the old Scottish caddy and start calling out the real problem with civility, the real problem with lax performance and the real problem with theft. We need our institutions to correctly identify the impediment at the end of our club that is truly hindering healthy lives and betterment of souls. We need our institutions to bring the mirror of truth instead of the allure of AI. For in the end, there is One who knows the correct score and when we meet our Maker, even the most advanced AI will not be able to concoct our defense.